The day mind stop driving the bus

A reference of what's to come can be illustrated in Thomas Merton's beautiful quote;
"At the center of our being is a point of nothingness which is untouched by sin and illusion, a point of pure truth, a point or spark which belongs only to God....which is inaccessible to the fantasies of our own mind or the brutalities of our own will. This little point of nothingness....is the pure glory of God written within us.......it is like a pure diamond blazing with the invisible light of heaven. It is in everybody, and if we could only see it, we would see these billions of points of light coming together in the face and blaze of a sun that would make all the darkness and cruelty of life vanish completely."

Right now, writing, looking outside seeing tree and me share the point of light. In our aliveness, absent description, we are the same light.

The day changed who was driving my bus. Seeing the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of self with which i searched for peace and happiness. My physical, mental, emotional self was only capable of connecting with these things of the world that change and die. Because they are impermanent, the happiness they provide is impermanent. The discovery was only by defaulting to my spiritual nature could i find a source of peace and happiness that is permanent in each moment. People refer to this fountainhead of permanent joy and peace by many names, such as God, Universal Consciousness, Tao, Shabd, Word, and so on. Tree and me made contact, this little point of nothingness, instantly  knowing by itself the tree is meaningless, but it's the name of the word tree. What was left was our points of light, aliveness if you will. Instantly, looking all around there were billions of points of light, blazing with invisible light.

In this instant i know, i knew all the mechanisms of self, the physical, emotional and mental aspects were transformed.  All the conditioning would be brought into the light as long as i allowed it to happen. The driver of my bus was removed and could instantly be placed at the back of the bus. The decision fueled by desire occurred instantaneously through surrendering to the nothingness within. As unfamiliar as it was, in the acceptance was the mortar of faith. Believing was what was happening. Faith was what i do it with. Surrendering to life, living me. The day mind stopped driving the bus.

Ball of Velcro.

Along with the seeing is a knowing. A knowing not from mental, emotional, physical aspects but from spirit. Oddly, this knowing isn't something i understand. Call it intuitive, for names sake but it's more an awareness, an aspect of awareness where one senses a source of guidance. Again, what immediately comes to mind is a surrender of sorts where what is left is the point of light. It's faith is in the certainty of not being able to explain it or understand it which in and of itself becomes instructional. Light catches mind grasping for descriptions, such as love. Being in love or being loved but this clearly stands out as an aspect of mind. Appearing as a ball of Velcro trying to hook myself. And at the same time, a message of allowing mind's expression under the supervision of  that point of light. Learning how it's all perfect just the way it is. Ah, spirit's confirmation within the birds chirping outside drawing into awareness another point of light. Birds chirping, leaves dancing in the gentle mid June breeze, people laughing and enjoying summer activities, all as awareness expands unto itself. At first, it's sensations expanding, as mind grasps for descriptions, confusion is instantly replaced with allowing. Then a soft settling into a calm, peaceful nothingness.
Seeing, minds Velcro nature to cling, grasp, attach, name, describe, figure out, note all attempts to stick a tag of dominance onto the experience. Feels like i am going into pieces yet not falling apart. Not where to stand. Groundless within the nothingness yet certain it's OK. Looking back at i am, is that what's going into pieces? The nature of understanding of what my knowing of i am is? Is i am a display of this marvelous, mysterious manifestation? Instantaneously, it's not being in love or being loved as one would interpret but living love. Laughing at the insidious nature of mind wanting to be back at the drivers seat, driving the bus. Realizing it's not me writing, but me transcribing the point of light dictation. Ah, awareness catching the bird chirping, another confirmation for the world of light around me, within me, me. Picking up the coffee cup for a sip it's come to me, each experience, every circumstance presents into as a magical moment to living light. Sipping the coffee, tasting the dark roasted beans, the heaviness of the container, the pungent favor and smiling a sense of peace and blessedness in the moment. Another confirmation from the world around when typing blessedness out of the original attempted word settled, spell check delivered blessedness. Love lights sense of humor. Can it be this easy? As mind poking it's Velcro nature into the experience.

Every moment is monumental because something sacred is happening.        

Unified dance of light

Allowing attention to surrender into the magical moment seeing dancing blinds, along with flowing tree branches and rhythmic movements of the dune grass in the vase each a display of the living moment. Can attention continue expanding and expanding with the fetters of mind? Awakening to the living aliveness all about. Skies receiving surface temperatures, transforming into currents of vibrational air being transported down through the trees and leaves. Flowing blinds, moving gently from side to side. Swaying green vibrant leaves and trees all displays of this unified dance of aliveness all about. Seeing the unseen for the first time, this moment in time. Just felt a message, not so much a worded phrase but a felt message i am hungry. A message not from the head but center of my sense of self. along with a familiar sense of unification. A part of the dance. Very distinguishable from the minds messages as there's a sensation of sorts that mind is peacefully resting somewhere in the back of the bus. Oddly, the experience of settled seems more appropriate. I like it, settled mind. Seems a display again of the unified dance of aliveness occurring unencumbered by mind.
Hungry message, time to go for now. Seems a leaving now from no time, no space. As the physical beckons for attention to satisfy this hunger. Even these moments within moments have a magical quality to them. The magic an aspect of the moment's gifts waiting to bestow blessings for any one allowing themselves to see.   


I am that. 

What I am not is the display of jim.  Like magnetism the polarization forces display as the power of magnetism. We don't see magnetism, as we don't see the invisible light of heaven. But it's there, one point of view is the person jim displayed as the physical, mental, and emotional aspects. We might believe we are the mental aspects of self. At times, it's these false identifications with mind. From the soft and gentle nothingness within we become aware it's the nature of mind to think, seeing in those moments i am "not" that mind.  

Reverse engineering.

This pain is an image that i have made. Pain here is presented to be a payment on an image i have made. A payment promise on an image held in mind. By-passing all the writings, presentations and advise of how to deal with pain a method one i can explore is reverse engineering the process. All of this isn't as clear as one might think since i'm writing it. But it's a method being explored. So let's start with the pieces as they are delivered to me. Allowing the flow as i'm the instrument. Starting with the premise that the mind is an image making machine. Minds aspect to make images consistently and regularly is happening through waking consciousness. The power of imagination is displayed here as the mind produces thought forms continuously. Validating these thought forms only happens when i give my consent to their truth. (Byron Katie, Stephen Mitchell, "I love what i think, and i'm never tempted to believe it. Thoughts are like the wind or the leaves on the trees or the raindrops falling. They're not personal, they don't belong to us, they come and go. When they're met with understanding, they're friends. I love my stories. I love being a man, even though i'm not!)
Reverse engineering these thought forms from the point of a display in outcome of what these thought forms led too. Looking at the end. The end as a display of the initial thoughts. The end as the outcome of the images the mind has made.   
Keeping the end in mind, end is displayed as;
Debt, holding onto money despite promises i have made obscures my integrity (A personal value).
Money, spent more than i made, spent more than i needed, not that important as a primary driver. *A genuine attitude of gratitude in each working/ money situation will lead to the call to service*.    Except greed drives this bus. Seems money as a substitute for something missing, like food. AH HA money and food behaviors are reminders of my true essence and the desire to be me. A call to love.
Relationships; with a partner more about me, not us. Love me verses being love with compassion, communication, commitment, compromise and consideration.
Spiritual practice, delivered more than i ever expected. Integrating with life is an ongoing challenge because of the lack of peace of mind and freedom. *MT, the fruit of silence is prayer (“Prayer is not asking. Prayer is putting oneself in the hands of God, at His disposition, and listening to His voice in the depth of our hearts.”) , the fruit of prayer is faith, the fruit of faith is love, the fruit of love is service, the fruit of service is peace.* IE Serving SatSang in Baltimore. Being Love in service is like the sun shining, sun never asks for a return, never asks how i'm doing, sun shines without expectations and needing anything in return.
    
As we begin to put the meditation and practice into effect, we start to develop our spiritual nature and come to understand more and more that our suffering is rooted in our distorted or unclear way of perceiving the world and ourselves (resisting). But when we achieve peace through the practice of meditation, our minds become settled and clear. We then begin to see life as it really is. We see events and people for what they are, rather than for what we have always projected on them. The resulting light-heartedness we experience enables us to go deeper into our meditation practice. The deeper we go, the more clearly we understand the true nature of the mind. We see more clearly, how the emotional, physical and mental aspects of our being are inter-related. We are able to watch how the mind creates infinite scenarios and then dissolves them again. We start to recognize that the source of our problems lies in the deceptive nature of our mental creations, and in our yearning for permanent or lasting solutions in an ever-changing world. As we continue with our meditation practice, our mind becomes still until eventually our soul is left unencumbered and we can contact directly the Source of all peace and happiness: the Tao, the Shabd, Buddha Nature, or God.
These teaching don’t belong to any race, nation or community, they are universal, unencumbered by religion.
Through practice, through grace, i see in this moment that when i believe my thoughts i suffer. And when i don't believe my thoughts i don't suffer. And this is true for everybody. I can see in that moment, in that moment of that unidentified i, i could see in that moment, the moment the mind hit, it had lost the ability to believe (believing is something mind does, faith is what the mind does it with), but i saw in that moment that the mind hit what it believed it saw, it believed what it saw, so it was the ultimate creator of ALL.

Service or acting on behalf of the Beloved!
From Mother Teresa;

The fruit of silence is pray.

The fruit of pray is faith.

The fruit of faith is love.

The fruit of love is service.

                                                          The fruit of service is peace. 

Doorway

The doorway into life's real wonder had been open and then closed, and i was left with an awareness of loss. The pain of consciousness reminds me that i am separate from oneness. I became like the reed torn from the reed bed, whose music is full of longing for the "Source". I long to go Home, back to where i belong, and this longing takes me on the most mysterious and demanding of journeys, the pilgrimage of the soul. On this journey the world that most people call their home becomes a painful place of separation, a world of illusion (dream, somebodiness, domestication, grounded-ness) in which the face of the Beloved is veiled. And yet, at the same time there is the hidden secret that this world is also God. Everything is He! There is, this and that, there and here. Everything is Him!!

Further

Further

Further